Debbie (arwen1682) wrote in behind_truth,

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“Oh shit.” Dom said releasing Billy and slamming back against the car’s seat.

Billy looked dumbly at Dom; his lips still had the pressure from Dom’s. He tried to speak but he couldn’t find the words. Billy slowly sat back, sighed and looked at Dom who still had a panicked expression. “Why did you kiss me?”

"I...I..." Dom shuddered biting down hard on his lower lip. He had just kissed Billy. He felt the tightness of his jeans and looked down quickly. Billy followed suit. Great... now we are both aware of my problem... "I fell asleep." Dom started hoping he actually was a good actor so he could pull this off. "And there was this hot chick... Man, if you could've seen her." Dom forced a laugh and tried not to sigh as Billy relaxed and sighed with him. "I was just about to kiss her and then you, you wanker, had to kiss me!" Dom winked again and dragged his arm -reluctantly- across his lips.

Billy chuckled. “That sounds like a really good dream for you to kiss me!” He shook his head and licked his lips; they were moist from Dom’s. Billy shivered and started to drive again.

“Oh, it was an amazing dream.” Dom said honestly. He sighed again and looked towards the window, pinching under his leg to stop his self from falling asleep again. He had kissed Billy. He couldn’t keep the smug smile off of his face. But more then anything, even more then the wish of them kissing again accident or not, that Billy wouldn’t catch on and shy away.

In the other hand, Billy was stressed out. Dom had kissed him. Billy didn’t kiss back but he didn’t pull away, why was that? Was it because he didn’t expect a man to kiss him? He had kissed other blokes as a joke, but never alone like now. He kept driving and driving until he took a left turn, not knowing where he was going.

“Hey Bills?” Dom asked feeling an awkward silence cover them. “Where are we going?” Dom added after a moment. It was awkward. Billy felt awkward. Dom fucked up. Again.

“Eh... I’ve no clue, Dom lad. I just turned left. There are mountains and all, isn’t that nice?” Billy tried to say casually. And you’re supposed to be an actor, Boyd. You can’t even control yourself!

“Yeah! We should pull over.” Dom said pointing up ahead to a small parking space. “We can take some pictures or something.” He said falling quiet as Billy pulled into one of the spaces. “Hey Bills, you okay?”

Billy nodded, looking at Dom and smiled. “I’m fine, Dom. I’m perfectly well, don’t worry about me,” he said softly to make the younger man more comfortable. “Let’s go take a walk,” Billy said as he got out of the car.

“Are you sure?” Dom asked closing the car door and walking around to Billy. “You don’t look so sure.”

Billy waved at Dom. “Don’t worry about me, lad. I’m fine, just a little tired.” Very good, Boyd, very good. “Shall we?”

“Yeah, alright.” Dom said sighing softly. He couldn’t tell if Billy was telling the truth... or not.

Billy knew Dom suspected, but he couldn’t help feel uncomfortable. Dom held him and kissed him in the car. He never expected that from Dom. Sure, Billy knew Dom liked blokes... but this wasn’t the case here. Did Dom have feelings for him? No, it would be impossible!

Dom tried to smile as he gently turned around and smiled. He could feel Billy’s eyes on him. Billy knew. Fuck, Monaghan… His smile fell and he turned back around to look at the ground. What was he going to do now?! I shouldn’t have held on… I shouldn’t have kissed him… I shouldn’t have even started to like him…

You’re making the poor lad uncomfortable, Boyd! Stop it! Say something! Billy cleared his throat and looked at Dom. “Are you hungry? Do you want to take a walk? Want to sit down?” Great, Boyd. Now you’re playing the 20 questions game…

“I’m sorry!” Dom exclaimed, walking quickly away from Billy and leaning up against the closest tree. “I didn’t mean to…” Dom whispered squeezing his eyes shut.

“Dom?” Billy asked softly. He was taken aback by Dom’s sudden mood change. He knelt beside Dom and laid a hand on his shoulder. “Dom, talk to me. Look at me.”

“No.” Dom said pulling away from Billy. “No… now it’s fucking weird… and you fucking… just... Fuck!” Dom screamed falling to his knees. “It’s not fucking worth it.” He whispered looking up to Billy who was looking down at him, confused. For a second Dom thought he made a mistake. Maybe Billy didn’t know…

Billy couldn’t believe it. They were having their first fight, it was so strange. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Dommie.” Dommie? What? “I don’t want us to fight,” he pleaded.

Dom blinked. ‘I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable Dommie.’ Billy didn’t know Dom was in love with him. Not love. Not yet. Dom thought. “I don’t want to either.” Dom whispered blinking away the tears that had been threatening to spill from his eyes. For Billy and him to be friends was all he really needed. wanted on the other hand… “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t cry,” Billy launched himself forward and hugged Dom. Both were kneeling on the ground. “Don’t be sorry, Dom. Just don’t… fuzz over it.” Billy embraced Dom tighter.

“But you were!” Dom sobbed clinging to Billy’s shoulder. He was so glad that Billy didn’t know that Dom had meant every single part of that kiss. He was so glad that Billy was oblivious to his true feelings. And he was so fucking glad Billy’s arms were wrapped around him tightly. “You weren’t talking… I didn’t mean to! I… I… swear.” Dom said biting his tongue as he said he swore.

Billy pulled back and placed both hands on Dom’s shoulders. “You took me by surprise, lad, I’ll be honest,” he said gently. “But do you see me offended or mad at you?” Billy spoke gently, wiping Dom’s tears with his thumb. “You got the wrong idea. Try to relax. Here, sit with me and calm down.”

Dom exhaled slowly and leaned his head against Billy’s chest. “Sorry for freaking.” Dom said, calmer than he was before. The rise and fall of Billy’s chest lulled Dom to a point where he was almost asleep. He would love to be in his arms like this night after night… Fuck don’t you ever learn? Liking him got you here in the first place! Keep your fucking head on and keep it in your pants!

Billy hugged Dom closed and relaxed. He laid his head on Dom’s head and sighed. Billy didn’t mean to make Dom feel weird and didn’t want to lose the guy. Billy heard Dom hum softly and smiled. He looked up and people walked by, some of them gave Billy dirty looks. They think we’re a couple.

He started to feel uncomfortable, so he gently pushed Dom to sit beside him. “Do you want something to eat? They have food over there, we could eat here.”

“Alright.” Dom nodded, hugging his knees to his chest and missing Billy’s warmth. “You want me to go with you?” He asked looking up as Billy stood.

Billy shook his head. “You stay here and guard this tree. I don’t want anybody to steal it, I’ll be right back. Don’t worry.” Billy walked away, confusion and awkwardness written all over his face.

“Oh… Okay!” Dom said nodding and watching as Billy walked away. Almost blew your cover… Dom rested his head against the tree and sighed. What was he supposed to do now? He had kissed Billy. Kissed him. And he wanted to do it again. Oh, how he wanted to do it again! But he couldn’t hide for too much longer…

Billy bought hamburgers, fries and water and made his way to Dom. He secretly promised to ignore this kissing incident, for the friendship’s sake. Billy didn’t want to lose Dom. Imagine if I lose Dom, we’d still have to see each other everyday. This is bad, so bad.

Dom looked up to see Billy smiling, carrying a tray of food. So, we ignore it. Check. “Looks good!” Dom said taking the tray to let Billy sit down. He handed Billy a burger and fries and opened his own burger. “Cheers!” He laughed as they hit the burgers together and both took a huge bite. Ignoring it…. That, I can do. I hope.

At least he’s feeling better, Billy thought, so he ate calmly. But there was something that Billy couldn’t help; he kept looking at Dom from time to time. Why was he looking at his mate?

They ate in comfortable silence, Billy was now enjoying Dom’s company, and he started to feel good about Dom being there with him again. After he was done eating, Billy leaned against the tree and exhaled. “I’m so full!” He laughed.

“Me too!” Dom yawned laying down in the grass and feeling his shirt being pulled up as he placed his arms behind his head. He was too lazy to care though and sighed contently as he looked up at the leaves of the tree. “Trees are so pretty.” He commented smiling as the sunshine reflected softly along the leaves and down the trunk.

“Trees are so pretty,” Billy repeated dumbly. He sat still and looked at anything but Dom; he couldn’t face him right now. Such actor you are, Boyd, he thought bitterly. The lad’s afraid he made a catastrophic mistake and you’re obsessing, very good, Boyd, very good.

Dom sighed again and closed his eyes, concentrating on the wind blowing gently across his face. Absentmindedly, Dom’s hand moved down to scratch at his stomach, the wind having blown a leaf across it. He smiled and wondered if Billy had a happy trail or not. He thought it best not to ask at the moment.

Billy was standing up. “I’m gonna go find a loo… there has to be a loo somewhere, I’ll be right back!” Billy walked fast to nowhere, pretending to look for a loo when in fact he was running away from Dom. He couldn’t face the younger man right now.

Dom leaned up slightly to watch Billy walk around trying to find a bathroom. He wandered back towards the restaurant and Dom smiled slightly. He really wished nothing would change now. And he really wished Billy would talk to him if something was wrong. Closing his eyes again he waited for Billy to come back and slowly fell away, sleeping again.

Billy sat on a bench behind the restaurant. Dom couldn’t see him so he could calm down. This is so silly! He apologized, he felt bad, it wasn’t a joke, he cried too! Billy stayed there for fifteen minutes, thinking about nothing, he was trying to relax and forget about it. So Dom kissed him, so what? Let it go!

He walked to where Dom was and noticed that he was sleeping. Billy certainly didn’t want another kiss. No sir. He knelt down and shook Dom’s knee. “Wake up, lad. Time to go.”

Dom sat up quickly and wiped the sleep from his eyes. “I wasn’t asleep!” He opened his eyes to see Billy leaning backwards slightly. Sighing inwardly, Dom was glad his dream had been kept PG. or… PG-13 at least.

“Yes you were, you were snoring!” Billy giggled. “We could go some other place if you like, or do you want to go back and hang out?” Billy stood up and extended a hand to Dom.

“It’s up to you!” Dom smiled and took Billy’s hand to stand up.

Billy dropped Dom’s hand and thought for a bit. “Maybe we could drive for a while,” he shrugged.

"Alright! Sounds good." Dom smiled and followed Billy back to the car.

They made themselves comfortable and Billy started the car. They got on the freeway again. It was early in the afternoon and it was a beautiful day. “When was the last time you were with a girl?” Motherfuckingshitepiss! That came out loud!

“Uhh…” Dom said, slightly taken aback. “It’s been a while… I mean after John, I didn’t date anyone… but… why?” He asked

“Oh, no reason at all,” Billy replied quickly. “I was just curious, you know. Curious, curious, curious!” He laughed. Oh, no.

Dom stared at Billy and then turned away to look out the window. Sighing, he decided not to say anything. Better not fuck it up more.

Billy sighed in frustration and looked for the nearest exit and get the hell out of the freeway. He found a super market. Got in and parked almost at the end of the parking lot. Turning off the engine, he looked at Dom. “I’m so sorry.”

“For what?” Dom asked still not looking at Billy. “You just asked a question. Questions are good. No big deal. It’s not YOUR fault I kissed you.”

“It doesn’t matter now. I’m making us weird, Dom, weird.” Billy unbuckled his seat belt. “I don’t want to lose our friendship,” he said opening the door.

“Where are you going?” Dom asked finally turning to see Billy getting out of the car. “Maybe if you stopped running things wouldn’t get fucked up!” He said angrily, throwing the seat belt off of his body and jumping out of the car. “Do you always run, Billy?”

“What do you want from me?” Billy yelled, his arms wide open. “I… I just don’t know how to react to this,” he whimpered. “I’m sorry, Dom. But I don’t know how to react!” His tears fell down.

“I…” Dom started to yell back but seeing Billy distress he sighed and went around the car to Billy. Wrapping his arms around Billy and pulling him close, Dom closed his eyes. “I’m sorry… I don’t know... it’s just... it was an accident and I didn’t want everything just changing… you can talk to me about anything, Billy, you know that right?” Dom whispered.

“I’m confused! I’m sensitive today, Ellen confused me and killed me,” Billy said into Dom’s neck. “Too many emotions going on, so many changes… I need you. Your support and friendship… it’s what I need the most.” Billy hugged Dom tighter.

“And I am here for you Billy! I am here for you, always. Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow.” Dom whispered clinging to Billy. And I need you too Billy… so much, in so many ways.

“Can we go? I’m so fucking tired, mentally and physically,” Billy whispered. “So tired,” he said laying his head on Dom’s shoulder and closed his eyes.

“Yeah.” Dom said nodding. “I’ll drive alright?” He said as Billy wordlessly handed him the keys. “Let’s go.”

Billy sat and looked at Dom. “This is the first time in years since I had someone drive for me,” he smiled. “Maybe we can go sight seeing some other day, when we’re both feeling better.”

“Yeah?” Dom asked pulling out of the parking area and getting back onto the highway. “I always have people drive for me.” He laughed and smiled at Billy. “We can go to my place and pop in a movie or something…. Sorry this day didn’t turn out quite as good as we wanted it to be.”

“Me too,” he said softly. “And yes, we could go to your place and watch a movie, I’d like that.”

"Alright. Do we want to rent one? Or do we have one?" Dom asked getting off the exit that would take them to their neighborhood.

“Let’s rent an Elijah or Astin movie so that we can make fun of them on Monday,” Billy giggled.

"Flipper and Enico Man? Sounds like a plan." Dom laughed just picturing the reaction of their friends.

“Oooh, let’s do both!” Billy’s eyes twinkled. “We could order Chinese too!”

"Alright!" Dom said smiling and pulling out his cell phone. He handed it to Billy. "Speed dial 5, it’s the Chinese place." Dom said giggling.

Billy looked at Dom and giggled; he ordered a feast and laughed when he ended the call. “We’re gonna make this day better, Dom.”

"Yes we are Billy." Dom smiled and sighed. "We are."
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